Tomgram: Nick Turse Offers the Seasonal Shopping List from Hell
We all know the feeling. After your last minute holiday gift-giving near-disaster in 2004 (surprisingly similar to the one in 2003), you made that firm New Year's resolution yet again -- this time you were determined to buy those Christmas presents in July. The Monday after Thanksgiving at the absolute latest. They would all be wrapped and carefully hidden away in the back of your closet under the old skates and the family photos. Well, don't even bother to look. You know you didn't. Fortunately, there are sites -- Tomdispatch for one -- with your seasonal well-being in mind. And so it's with particular pleasure that, in the very nick of time, Tomdispatch presents its third annual opportunity for you, the Xmas gift-giver, to partake in some small way of an all-American, globally generous spirit of giving. Open your hearts, open your wallets, and shop til you drop. It's the Homeland Security way of life! Tomp.s. One small gift you might actually consider picking up is an amusing collection of bumper stickers ("Be nice to America or we'll bring democracy to your country") and bumper facts, a little stocking stuffer of a book by two young progressives, Actions Speak Louder Than Bumper Stickers.
All-American Christmas
By Nick ("Tongue Firmly in Cheek") Turse
It's that time of year again. A time for family and friends to gather. A sacred time. A time to look back and reflect on what really matters most. And, honestly, what matters more than Tomdispatch's third annual holiday list of the season's best gifts?
Back in 2003, there were those "Hot as Depleted Uranium Toys for a New Imperial Age"; in 2004, we gave you the inside scoop on how to "Make It a Merry Military-Corporate Christmas." This year, it's all about timeless American values, like militarism, jingoism, and barbarism. So if you've been wringing your hands, worried that you'll never find that last minute holiday gift for the special someone on your list, today is your lucky day!
The Spirit of the Season
Does it seem like every year you have more and more people to buy presents for? Well, here's a gift idea that wants to be part of the solution, not the problem: the "America Is Full" T-shirt. Now, when the recipient of your gift heads out, people will know exactly what s/he thinks about those tired, poor, and huddled masses yearning to breathe free. And if there was any shred of doubt, the reverse side reads: "The Borders… It's Closing Time."
Click here to read more of this dispatch.
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